we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
