i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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