I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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