I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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