:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
