im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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