I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
