Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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