used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it because I queefed?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
