I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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