she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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