If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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