I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
