Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
