He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
