Can Purell be used as lube?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
