I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
