Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
