It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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