your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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