She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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