Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What drink are we having for lunch?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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