Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
