If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The adults are the big ones right?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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