Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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