my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
