At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
