i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
