Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
