ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
worst night to have a conscience
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
