I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize