Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
