No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
