Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
