Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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