Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
