I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
There's always time for handjobs
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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