When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
