I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Holy sore nipples Batman
my poor anus
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
