I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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