hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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