i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize