So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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