Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
