Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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