We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
