problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize