So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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