plz talk dirty to me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hippo gnu deer
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
