Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
