So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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