and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
