Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
