I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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