i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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