we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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