I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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