once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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