Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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