And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
