omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
