Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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