why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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