Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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