trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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