We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
