absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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