Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
